Parent and Child
by Tsubasa-fan
Summary: Written for Kuroganeweek. Prompt: Parent and Child. Kurogane doesn't think he's that great with kids.


Crying, crying and crying. It just doesn't stop. Growing up in a large family, he thought he would have this part down by now but sadly, one little detail had pushed that so called experience away.

He had little idea on how to deal with babies. It was a new addition for them, a little baby girl who was still getting used to her new life. He read books and watched videos, but he soon understood that seeing what to do and trying to do it was very different.

Fai had supplied news articles and magazines, but at least he seemed just as lost.

He tried to hold the baby and moved around to get her to keep quiet. She was fussy, her tiny fingers clenched into fists. The little girl was only a few weeks old and it couldn't be helped, but it was hard to handle.

Part of him just wanted to cry along with her. Kurogane continued rocking her as he walked, which thankfully had calmed her down enough to just a few whimpers.

Kurogane internally sighed in relief.

Now if he could just get her to sleep. Fai was gone to work, that lucky bastard, so he was here watching their daughter. He had more respect for new mothers and his own after a taste of what they had to go through. His daughter was red faced and staring up at him. She still looked upset, but at least there were no more tears.

Kurogane looked tired and pushed to the limit but he mustered some patience as he kissed her forehead softly. "No more crying."

She would grow out of it and give him a whole new array of problems, but she was his now. "Save that for your dad, he deserves it." He then added without missing a beat; a small smile graced his lips.

Fai would at least be home in a couple hours and then he'd take over.  
Kurogane yawned.

With the new baby, they had both gotten little sleep, taking turns feeding her every few hours. It was a wonder they didn't break down already.

But eventually, the child decided to finally rest as he placed her back in the crib and passed out on the couch not long after.

"Kuro-daddy~" Fai was cooing and gently shaking his shoulder.

A tired eye opened that bleed exhaustion and slight frustration.

Fai looked a little green as he smiled down at him. "I brought home take out for us." He was holding the baby in his arms.

"How long was Chi awake?" He asked right off the bat

"Not sure. I came home and set the food down and saw you. I went to check on her and she was just staring at her mobile. I changed her and I've got a bottle warming." Fai was still getting used to diapers and at least he didn't gag at the smaller messes.

"I'll feed her then." Kurogane slowly got up as he cracked his back and shoulders.

Fai raised a foot to push him back. "Nope. You sit right there and eat. Bags are in front of you."

Kurogane nodded in thanks. Though he can't help but wonder if he looked as exhausted as he felt. Their daughter yawned and chewed on her fingers while Fai leaned in to kiss Kurogane. "Paper plates and forks are there in the bags too." He left to get the bottle.

"Thanks." Kurogane opened the bags and got everything out and set. They knew this was coming and yet it was still a train to the face.

Fai hummed, tired from work and their baby, but she was satisfied for now and they were together. Even now, the man can hear the baby fussing a bit but it wasn't as bad as earlier. When Fai came back, he offered a bottle to her. She made faces before she relented somewhat and suckling from the bottle. He sat beside his husband, smiling tiredly. "How was she?"

He wondered if lying would be okay in this case.

"That bad?" Fai asked as he reached for a breadstick.

He nodded.

"She'll be back asleep soon I think. I can put her in her cradle." He smiled. Fai ate slowly, savoring the quiet.

Kurogane ate as well. He almost burst out everything that he was thinking but thankfully held back.

Fai at least tired too. He ate one handed and when she finished her bottle her burped her and cleaned up when she spit up on him.

After eating, cleaning up and putting the baby back into her crib, the two quickly shared a shower before going to bed.

In which, Kurogane was just having second thoughts about everything really

Fai turned the baby monitor own and had an alarm set for four hours. His body aches and he stretched on their bed. "I'll take first turn."

He was faced down on a pillow. "...Explain to me why we wanted a kid again?"

Fai laughed. "Because we wanted to start a family. I suggested a cat years ago and you turned me down." He reached over to run his husbands back.

He groaned. "I know, I know..."

"Once we get the hang of it and she starts sleeping all night we can get a babysitter or have our parents watch her."

"That seems so far away. I don't...I don't know if I have enough patience to make it through..."

Fai watched him. "Why is that?"

Kurogane was silent for a bit; unable to convey his emotions and thoughts into words at first. He let him take his time.

"...I'm worried that I'll do something stupid and scar the kid for life. She won't remember it later on but it'll always be there..."

"I don't think you will. You've been nothing but gentle and have gone above and beyond." He felt guilty that Kurogane had to bear the brim of the responsibilities while he went to work

"But one of those days, I'll be pushed to the edge and I might scream or cry or even hurt her without knowing until it's too late and I don't think I can handle that..." He rambled with tears prickling in the corner of his seen eye.

Fai pulled him close. "It's okay to be frustrated and cry. It's a lot of stress. I can look into a nanny for a few hours a day to help you?" He ran his fingers through dark hair. "You've not slept well be for the record she'll get hurt accidentally from time to time. It happens, but we will be there to take care of her."

"...I just want to be a good parent." He buried his face into the blonde's chest

"You are kuro-chan."

"I don't feel like I am..."

"Why? Because you get tired and frustrated? That's normal. I'm pretty sure I have my dad premature grey hair."

"You're a special case." He lightly joked.

"And you can handle me o a baby will be easy."

"This is different. This is a fragile living thing...anything can go wrong...it's not that easy..."

"I wasn't easy either...well...in most ways. A baby is still difficult, but you call me a child all the time."

"You're not easy before you're you." Kurogane took in the scent of the blonde's favorite body wash. "And you're stubborn to the point of being a child but you're not one...really. God, where was I going with that?" He was rambling again

"Sleep and I meant easy as in we had sex within like a week of dating." He waved his hand dismissively. "You want me to find a nanny to help?"

"...Give me a month and if I can't do it by then, then by all means." Maybe he was just exhausted but he still didn't want to take any chances.  
"Deal"

Kurogane relaxed further as he heard the answer. "God, babies are gross." He said as an afterthought.

"I've seen horror stories." It turned his stomach still when she spit up on him, but he was learning not to think too much about it.

"They are true." He whined

"Already?" He didn't think Chi had that bad of diapers yet.

"I don't want to think about it." His head was in Fai's chest.

"Okay. Sleep and I'll wake you up later."

Kurogane nodded and passed out not long after. Three weeks in and it was a wonder that he hadn't thrown himself off a cliff. Fai let him sleep, waking up both times to feed and change Chi.

Time slowly passed but it felt like time hadn't changed at all. If Kurogane's eyes were anything to go by.

"Alright. I think we need a nanny."

"What makes you say that?" Kurogane calmly asked; his hair frazzled; the towel over his shoulder covered in spit up and a finally resting baby in his arms.

Fai bit his lip. "You look like you need coffee and lots of sleep, kuro-sweetie." His eyes slowly, very slowly blinked in response.

"Alright. You give me the baby and I'll call Yuui. Uh...you take a nap." He thought about suggesting a hot bath, but Kurogane might fall asleep.

Kurogane let Fai take the baby as he turned around and walked slowly away

Fai was starting to worry as he set her in a swing chair and called his brother to ask for a nanny recommendation.

Yuui emailed him a list of nannies that he thought would be suitable for taking care of a baby.

Fai called each and asked them to meet him on his next day off for interviews. Soon, he had a full day of interviews while Kurogane was trying to regain his energy and sanity

He let his husband sleep while Chi was in her cradle. He spoke with each person and tried to get a feel for them. He was surprised when a few had resumes and backgrounds in childcare. Either they really love children or are really good at what they do.

Fai thanked each of them and wondered which one would be best. He had told them his hours and how Kurogane stayed home to watch Chi.

When the last one was gone he sighed and smiled down at his daughter. "You're driving daddy crazy, I think he can only handle one crazy person at a time though." The baby cooed and sloppily clapped her hands

"So precious." Fai watched her and made dinner. He woke Kurogane up to eat

In the end, it was between two nannies. There was Kobato, who was sweet and a bit clumsy, though she seemed gentle and loved kids. And a young man, Subaru who while a bit docile and withdrawn; had a gentle disposition and has a ton of experience in child development.  
"What do you think?" He asked Kurogane as he laid on the floor beside Chi, moving his fingers above her

"Both are good in their own ways. The kid does had some good points in taking care of a baby but the girl also can give Chi the love that I would hope she would give to any child really. Seems tough."

"Could flip a coin?" Fai suggested. Chi still wasn't able to even sit up yet, but she smiled and cooed.

Kurogane reached into his pocket and got a quarter. "Heads, the girl. Tails, the boy."

"Okay." He chuckled

Kurogane went and flipped the coin

"Well?"

He looked at the coin.

"Thank you for giving me the opportunity!" Kobato smiled brightly on her first day. "I will do my best!" She pumped her fist into the air.

"Thank you. I left a list of numbers on the fridge in case you need someone. We have a large family. There's another page with where everything is."

"Yes sir!" She nodded. "I'll take good care of Chi." Despite how serious she was, one can say that they can almost see flowers and sparkles around her. Almost like an angel.

Fai didn't feel so nervous about it at least. "Alright, I'll see you both later."

Well, she looked capable but will everything really be alright?

Fai sighed and tries not to think about it. Instead he went to Kurogane. At the very least, Kurogane looked refreshed.

"Come on, let's go and get you some fresh air."

"I'm so nervous right now, you wouldn't even believe it."

"She'll be fine. Kobato is capable and you need to relax and enjoy yourself."

He nodded despite his urge to disagree.

"Wherever and whatever you want to do today."

"Yeah, yeah."

After the whole day, the couple was returning home. Fai had hoped his husband was feeling more like himself.

Which he was slowly becoming but his thoughts were always to the child they left with a total stranger. They had had a nice dinner and some drinks. Fai was holding his hand. He felt much better. Better than he had in a long time

"A nanny was a good idea. Maybe we can have sex in a few weeks too."

"Let's just go into our house soon and see the damage first." He joked

Fai pulled out his keys and opened the door. "Fine."

They opened the door and the gentle sounds of the radio were heard. "Kobato?" The house was clean, that was a good start as the couple walked in.

Fai went to the living room when he didn't get an answer. The radio was on and playing as there was a couple stuffed animals on the floor.

Kurogane went to the kitchen and saw that it was a bit of a mess but it wasn't the end of the world. When he went back to the blonde, he pointed and mouthed 'upstairs maybe'. The blonde followed up after him.

They went up the stairs and to the child's bedroom where they started hearing a soft young woman's singing and the gentle light of the lamp in that room.

The door opened to reveal Kobato. Fai smiled. There was the young lady, singing and holding Chi in her arms, despite how peaceful she was and to their child, her hair was a mess with splotches of formula and paste of whatever in it. Her sleeves were a bit singed and the hat she wore before was crumpled on the floor like a rag doll; and covered with spit up.

Fai winced when he saw that. He'd pay her extra for the day. "Ah...Kobato?"

She looked up and smiled. What a trooper. "Good evening." Her voice was hushed. "Chi finally went to sleep~"

"Put her to bed and I'll pay you." He suggested. She nodded as she quietly did that.

Kurogane was glad it wasn't just him with that issue.

"I can wash your hat too." He offered.

"Oh no, it's fine." She carefully picked the hat up. "It happens." She smiled.

"Let me get you a bag at least?" He felt guilty and handed her, her pay.

"If it's not too much trouble then thank you." She beamed happily.

He nodded and hurried back downstairs. Kurogane suddenly liked this nanny.

Fai returned and opened a plastic bag for her. "We will see you later Kobato and thank you again."

"No problem." She put her hat in the bag. "Chi was a sweet girl." She nodded and left; more bits of formula on the back of her dress as she walked.

Fai cringed. "Maybe she'll get better?" He asked after she was out of the house. "Is it that bad for you?"

"Huh?" Kurogane was undoing his shirt; just idly enjoying the quiet inside the house for once.

"You're not usually covered in fluids are you?"

"Other than vomit and spit up?"

"I'll take that as a yes." He went to sit on his bed after he has went down to lock the door and turn everything off. He'd worry about the kitchen later

"Either the nanny really is clumsy or our baby just doesn't discriminate who she's with."

"Maybe both." Fai said as he started to take off his clothes.

"But I'm glad it wasn't worse."

"Me too." Fai stripped to his underwear and went to their dresser to look for some shorts

"At least my mind wasn't turned into goo and my body the same way." He was in his boxers as he laid on the bed.

Fai smiled and went to join him. It felt good against his skin.

"...I just realized something..."

"What?"

"If she's that crazy as a baby, what would she be like as a teenager?"

"Don't you put that evil on me." Fai swatted him playfully. "She'll be sweet and kind."

"I didn't say anything." He whistled.

Fai rolled his eyes and chuckled. It was good to have Kurogane back, he couldn't remember the last time they'd actually talked. Which didn't end with grumbles and half crazed statements from lack of energy and sleep.

"Think we can get someone to babysit at their place for a day?"

"I don't see why not." Kurogane yawned.

"My sweet husband can be pampered."

"Yeah, yeah." He turned off the lamp on the nightstand.

"Whatever you want. I'll even buy you sushi."

"I might kiss you after." He joked.

"Not on the mouth." He moved to drape an arm on the man and kissed his shoulder

Kurogane hummed as he closed his eyes. Well, the road to parenthood sure as hell wasn't paved with gold, that was for sure but they can lead to a lifetime of happiness.

And he'll take it.


End file.
